Well, if Warner Bros. is going to scrape the bottom of the barrel for superheroes, it makes sense that they would choose a superhero who was essentially scraped from the bottom of the barrel. For the sake of full disclosure, I’ll admit that I had a Green Lantern action figure when I was a kid, and he […]
Filmmakers are immune to the adage that those who don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it. Therefore, this is happening: Universal hasn’t given up The Wolfman and intends to reboot the series and create a film, tentatively titled “Werewolf,” that has more in common with George Waggner’s original 1941 film The Wolf Man than the character’s most recent iteration. There […]
As if they were recovering from a bad breakup by trying to mimic and outdo the other, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have both charted their trajectory from Black Swan toward movies where each female protagonist is just looking for a little symbiotic carnal catharsis. Natalie Portman, fresh off her Academy Award win for Best Actress, began […]
Somewhere this concept made sense: “A man inherits six penguins which suddenly make him less of a megalomaniac and more of an understanding, compassionate, philanthropic human being.” At around the some time, Satan approached Jim Carrey and asked him to make due on that whole “successful career” thing by tap-dancing with six CGI’d penguins to the tune of Vanilla Ice’s […]
Remember when the troika of Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and Bane (Jeep Swenson) led their villainous charge across the screen in Batman and Robin, the final installment in the Batman franchise that was rebirthed in the 80s and mercifully executed in the 90s? Me neither. However, the blame shouldn’t fall on the thin […]
When a martini has that perfect balance of vodka and vermouth, enhanced by chips of shaken ice and the salty touch of an olive, you record your measurements for repeated imbibing pleasure. When filet mignon is seared the appropriate length of time so that it melts in your mouth, you do your best to duplicate that touch and taste. […]
As CBS has officially replaced the walking still that is Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher on their hit series Two and a Half Men, it seems that the stream-of-consciousness chapter that was Sheen’s relevance can come to a close. Granted, there will be inevitable tweets and Youtube videos featuring the irate Sheen continuing his obloquy against Chuck […]
As I gather my Bible, Torah, Koran, copy of Watchmen, and print of Dali’s “St. John on the Cross,” I ready myself for the inevitable uber-undulating of the Earth that will occur around 6pm EST. As I’m preparing to barricade myself in an Astoria apartment with silver bullets, whittled crosses of what used to be a dining […]
I’m not sure how many more movies can be carried on the trope of infantile adults, though Bad Teacher is going to try its damnedest, primarily by having its main character Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz) respond to criticism with a pubescent teenager’s “Oooooh,” perhaps leaving out the “I’m so scared,” but this is a bet I would […]
Horrific events force us to channel the resulting anger into a visible, tangible object, one that visibly articulates our rage and anger by its existence, at times, regardless of whether or not the object of our antipathy is directly related to its cause. A case in point would be Johnny Frank Garrett, a Texas man accused of […]