While the big-bellied graybeards in both major political parities argue over who is more wrong and who is less right, the average American shrugs her shoulders insouciantly. Janey may or may not own a gun, but she is certainly weary of the sniping her elected leaders like to engage in. She is even less interested in what […]
Once upon a time, an English professor explained to me–and the rest of her class–the seven basic plots in literature. In addition to providing a working context for writers, she suggested, the prevalence of these themes relieves all creative people of the burden of avoiding cliché. If there are only seven stories any of us can tell, […]
When you go to the Fairy Tale Store, there’s no aisle you can walk down to assemble the ingredients for a scenario where Party A lives in New York, Party B lives in San Francisco and the two parties live happily ever after…in their long distance relationship. That’s not a situation little girls dream of. And it’s […]
My brother married a Canadian woman. They exchanged vows in an Ontario border town situated at the most eastern and most southern point of Lake Superior. For the reception, the bride’s family–who had emigrated from Italy–supplied enough good wine to fill up all five Great Lakes. (All of it was consumed.) The maid of honor made a […]
Jun30
If It’s Summer, There Must Be a Whole Bunch of Ex-plo-zhe-uns at the Movie Theatre
by 
Tim Adkins
Homer Simpson is a simple man. He likes enormous portions of everything that he likes. Donuts. Bacon. Beer. And all of the other things that make life worth living. Homer, as a good many of you know, also has some experience with ex-plo-zhe-uns. I didn’t learn gluttony from Homer. But I probably learned how to do it […]
Early in the second act of Get Him to the Greek, intern Aaron Green (played by Jonah Hill) is hungover and squirming nervously as the limo carrying him and Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand) inches through the morning rush in London. Green meekly asks the driver to drive faster or take another route. The driver answers […]
Somewhere in the comic universe, there is a Mason-Dixon Line (a Stark-Wayne Line?) that separates Marvel from DC. Fierce battles take place across that line. As you may guess, dear reader, this is…not…one of them. You’ve heard about Iron Man 2, right? It’s, like, the biggest movie in the world. Right now. (But not of ever. Some […]
Some films are muddy. They give us good guys who are kinda bad or bad guys who are kinda good. They obscure the conflict. They make us guess. They confuse us. They dare us to unravel them. The Stoning of Soraya M. is not one of those films. Yet, it delivers us a stunning lesson on the slippery […]
“I remember so many beginnings, but I don’t know which one goes with this story.” — Benjamin Esposito, El secreto de sus ojos Unlike the lead character in the film the Liberian Girl and I saw on Sunday night, I do know which beginning goes with this story. It occurred last Friday and the scene starred familiar castmates scotch and Mr. […]
I was gonna write this amazing Date Night-style recap of my experience with El secreto de sus ojos. It was gonna weave together the story of a bet I lost with the Liberian Girl as well as a conversation at a bar in SoHo with this painter about the fundamental differences between Michael Jackson and Prince. It […]