It was nine o’clock. The movie started at 9:20. I was at least 15 minutes away from the movie theatre. I’d have to move very quickly if I wanted to see every frame of Pom Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold. I squeezed some Crest Pro-Health onto my Oral-B toothbrush. Scrubbed my unsponsored teeth. Rinsed and […]
I’m not sure how many more movies can be carried on the trope of infantile adults, though Bad Teacher is going to try its damnedest, primarily by having its main character Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz) respond to criticism with a pubescent teenager’s “Oooooh,” perhaps leaving out the “I’m so scared,” but this is a bet I would […]
Horrific events force us to channel the resulting anger into a visible, tangible object, one that visibly articulates our rage and anger by its existence, at times, regardless of whether or not the object of our antipathy is directly related to its cause. A case in point would be Johnny Frank Garrett, a Texas man accused of […]
In the last four weeks, Hop has split the top box office spot with the also animated, three-lettered Rio and the alliterative Fast Five, grossing 105 million dollars in the United States and over 160 million dollars worldwide. Initially, my concern over this movie revolved around the notion that Easter bunnies were able to defecate jelly beans, […]
When I heard that Takeshi Miike had a new movie out, I took the news with the same mix of anticipation and dread I would get were my Brazialian jiu-jitsu teacher to ask me to join him on the mat: I am going to get to watch a master at work, but by the time it’s over […]
Fans are fans. They will do what fans do. They will gush. (Sometimes they will grumble.) Critics are critics. They will do what critics do. They will criticize. (Sometimes they will praise.) All of which is to say that whatever you’ve heard about Scream 4 is absolutely true. It’s doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, it’s true. It’s […]
Two months ago, the Liberian Girl and I were lying in bed trying to fall asleep. The TV, which was trying to watch us, spit out a 60-second spot for a movie called Hanna. After the ad concluded, I mumbled something to the effect of: “I may be half sleep, but I’m pretty sure I just saw […]
Pardon the superlative, but one of the most overlooked movies of the past ten years has to be Wonder Boys, a film directed by Curtis Hanson that follows Grady Tripp (Michael Douglas), an English Professor who deals with a crumbling marriage of his own undoing, a long-term affair that has been impregnated with, well, pregnancy, the visit of […]
In Revelations, Death will eventually enter on a pale horse followed by Hell, to whom “power was given […] over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth”; however, it seems the apocalypse is equally foretold when an unstoppable money-making force meets […]
Admittedly, when No Impact Man: The Documentary first popped up on Netflix, my first instinct was to watch it with the sole purpose of tearing it apart. Why? I’m not really sure. Perhaps I wanted to expose Colin Beaven as an advantageous entrepreneur whose desire to become an activist for a year better served his need to […]