Sick of the chocolate-filled, manufactured and saccharine Valentine’s Day? Can you honestly bear another showing of in the loop of Valentine’s Day, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, or Love Actually? These five films will cure the Hallmark-promoted hangover:

5. Fatal Attraction: With about twenty minutes left , Fatal Attraction’s focus becomes more about a bunny-boiling woman unhinged. Unfortunately, this overshadows the deep seeded pain and rejection that Alex (Glenn Close) genuinely feels from being spurned by Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas), a man who tries to frame the semantics of love in legalese. Admittedly, Alex might be a bit clingy and left-of-center, but it’s hard to deny the fact that she was thrown away and written of. While Adrian Lyne doesn’t help his stereotypical misogyny here, and the film is often remembered (and parodied) for its jarring final sequences, this is ultimately a tale of unrequited love and dissatisfaction.

4. Like Crazy: I could really only put one film of this type on the list, so I chose Like Crazy over the cuter, more capricious (500) Days of Summer. The latter is solid, but the montages of monotonous sleeping and cuddling that disguises itself to the characters as love is both endearing and heartrending. Like Crazy creates this illusory world and ideological definition of love that becomes so ingrained that admitting defeat is hardly an option. We know it’ll end eventually; we just don’t know how poorly or under what circumstances.

3. The Breakup: Going in to this film, I assume most people expected a cheesy tale of heartbreak and reparation, but Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston give us something completely different. Instead, we watch a couple in the waning days of their relationship, one that has been prolonging its death rattle for the sake of an apartment that they own together. The Breakup is less about how to rekindle a relationship and more about how we visualize success with commodities. Perhaps the apartment was a symbol of success and a healthy relationship. Perhaps it was to create an appearance of stability, but within this purchase resides an irony. The apartment itself is simply an exchangeable space and in an ever-changing metropolis – hardly a symbol of fortitude or constancy.

2. Annie Hall: Set with the 1970’s as a backdrop, this story of Annie (Diane Keaton) and Alvy (Woody Allen) is as tumultuous as the decade they inhabit. Once again, we see the relationship dynamic as a symbol of stability in an utterly unstable world.

1a. Blue Valentine: It took about five minutes for a handful of people to point out this accidental omission. I’m a bit surprised at my forgetfulness considering how much I dug (if in fact you can “dig”) this movie. the acting is stellar, and the most noble moment in the film is the beginning of the end instead of the beginning of intertwining trajectories. Ryan Gosling got snubbed for a nomination here while Michelle Williams deservedly earned another. This is one of those films it’s hard to watch with your loved one, but a brilliant look at the moments that define us.

1. Casablanca: Rick’s (Humphrey Bogart) choice to let Ilsa (Ingred Bergman) board a plane with Victor Lazlo (Paul Henreid) reeks with sadness as he ventures off into the fog with Louis Renault (Claude Raines). The music portends happiness and we are familiar with the outcome of the war, so perhaps we see Rick’s gesture as necessary to the fight against Axis aggression, but there’s an obvious pain in his decision to remain in solitude rather than to join up with someone who might only be a shill for Ilsa. In a way, it’s a good thing that the original Casablanca sequel was never produced. Would we really want to see Rick with someone else? Is it believable that Rick and Ilsa would be reunited? Or, would it end in a similar fashion with Rick, this time, boarding a plane?

5. Dick Tracy: Based on a comic strip, this Warren Beatty-directed, live-action adaptation is highlighted by Pacino’s memorable performance as Big Boy Caprice. The set design and star-stacked cast are thoroughly enjoyable, but Pacino’s hunched shoulders, pursed protruded lips, and infatuation with walnuts gives depth to an otherwise one-dimensional villain. This role earned Pacino one of his eight Oscar nominations.

4. Glengarry Glen Ross: It’s difficult to pick out only one performance from the film, and if I had to choose the best, it would belong to Lemmon, but Pacino’s turn as Ricky Roma, the slick, experienced born-to-sell salesman illustrates the marriage between charm, charisma and capitalism. In what might be the better performance, this one earned Pacino a nomination the same that he was nominated – and ultimately won — for Scent of a Woman. While Frank Slade has some iconic lines, Roma’s drink in a bar with a man so wanting to be romanced by success far surpasses any speech about bows breaking and cradles falling at Baird.

3. Serpico: The histrionics surrounding Frank Serpico and his exposing of corruption and graft in the 1970’s incarnation of the NYPD might be more alluring than the overall film, but Pacino’s performance as the one good cop unafraid of repercussions resonates with most audiences. Our look at Pacino is post-Godfather, but is the initial pairing of Pacino and Lumet – one revisited only a few years later in Dog Day Afternoon.

2. Godfather II: Sure, he’s great in part one, but who isn’t? And, it’s hard to put him above Brando’s iconic portrayal of the family-oriented don. But it’s Part II that really develops Michael’s character. He is at once trying to emulate his father while functioning in the complicated calculus that is American capitalism at the turn of the century. I’ve seen The Godfather II dozens of times, and with each viewing I feel more and more sympathy for Michael, despite his decent into villainy. Despite his vow that the Corleone family is on its way to the straight and narrow, he exemplifies the difficulties and secludes himself in the compound that portends security.

1. Dog Day Afternoon: It may not be his most famous, but this is my favorite Pacino role and film. The combination of Pacino and Cazele on film produces an energy unmatched in other gritty-New York City-based films. The Godfather II is certainly the most famous example of Pacino-as-nefarious character, but the hit comes pretty bluntly. In contrast, Dog Day Afternoon needs to be viewed a few times before realizing how narcissistic and selfish Sonny Wortzik really is. The final scene in the film might resonate because of its out-of-left-field feeling, but the result is inevitable given the way that Wortzik manipulates both the media and the police force.

It’s no secret that January is a time when movies go to die. The Oscar push for nominations is at an end. “Best- and Worst-of” lists have been written, smaller critical circle awards have been handed out, and the frontrunners, for the most part, are pretty clear. Admittedly, some films released in January are decent. I was a fan of 2012’s Haywire 2011’s The Company Men, and 2010’s Daybreakers — though I might be in the minority on those. But, for every film that’s worth two hours in a theater in January, there seem to be a dozen that you wouldn’t stream free on Netflix. Perhaps this is because January is so far away from months that tend to be important for award’s consideration – namely, October onward. At times, we get a gem in the spring, like Midnight in Paris or Moonrise Kingdom, but for the most part, the spring and summer months are reserved for blockbusters like The Hunger Games, The Dark Knight Rises and The Amazing Spiderman. So, as we enter January, here’s a look at the past dozen years of January misfires:

10. Bride Wars (2009): With Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, you’d figure that this movie would at least be cute, possibly even annoyingly so, but in truth, it’s just silly – and not in a cute way. Two brides – best friends – choose the same wedding day. First of all, why? What logic says that these two best friends would not talk to each other prior to setting the date? Yes, there is nostalgia playing in to their decisions, and, yes, there is a clerical error that forces them both to marry on June 6, but this also seems easily remedied by contracts acquired when booking venues and working with wedding planners. While this movie is first and foremost a bureaucratic fallacy, the bigger issue is the ridiculous passive aggression that ensues between the two brides to be. Sweet should never make you gag.

9. Legion (2010): The little old lady that becomes a ravenous, ceiling crawling spawn of Satan gave this film a bit of hope; unfortunately, the rest of the film was as sloppy and schlocky as the special effects used to create this scene. Plus, this film is just a mash-up of other dystopia, near-apocalypse, human incarnations of Satan films. For better results either check out Dogma for the angels-go-a-killing angle, Rosemary’s Baby for “pregnant-with-Satan’s-baby” trope, or The Walking Dead for some apocalyptic dystopia.

8. Tooth Fairy (2010): The Rock – nay Dwayne Johnson – as a mythical creature. What could be funnier than celluloid root canal?

7. Blood Rayne (2006): Luckily for Ben Kingsley, most people have forgotten this movie ever existed. However, if it were released now, it might garner more of a following. After all, it’s about vampires. Namely, one half-vampire / half-human who is the main attraction at a freakshow. Bent on revenge, our vampiress protagonist escapes becomes part of many training montages designed to kill time until the ultimate showdown with none other than the vampire king, her father.

6. You Got Served (2004): For a reason other than the most obvious, this film is on the list because it introduced the titular phrase that was hilariously mocked by South Park. Taking “served” out of the restaurant business volley-based games, You Got Served revels in pseudo slang and the art of fighting your opponents with breakdancing instead of fists. If only this movie were the original training video for the Crips and Bloods, it would be much easier for everyone to get along. Segue: I also wonder whether this film might have been better received – popularly , not critically – had it been released in the last few years when Dancing with the Stars and its other incarnations were at their heights.

5. Final Destination 2 (2003): Channeling George Carlin, I’ll remind the filmmakers that this title is super redundant. A destination implies “final.” It’s where you’re going. It’s where you’re destined to end up. Therefore, “final” is unnecessary. There is no such thing as a second destination – much less third, fourth, or fifth. These are known as pit stops on the way, rest stops on the highway, bathrooms coupled with glazed donut and fried chicken dispensaries, a place from where this script – and its siblings – originated.

4. Kangaroo Jack (2003): Anthropomorphized, talking kangaroo with an attitude and a Brooklyn-embroidered hoodie. And Jerry O’Connell. Plus post-Hang Time, pre-Law & Order Anthony Anderson – if there is much of a difference.

3. Snow Dogs (2002): I’ll buy Cuba Gooding Jr. as a dentist, but Sisqo as a doctor? Perhaps a proctologist, but that’s all.

2. Season of the Witch (2012): You might be saying, But it’s Nic Cage; why isn’t this number one? Because it’s not Meet the Spartans. Regardless, Cage finally makes an appearance on this list, primarily because The Wicker Man and neither Ghost Rider premiered in January. Regardless, this film is so replete with fluff and misguided special effects that it makes The Last Airbender – also not released in January – look like The Social Network. Something directly related to the story – aside from the story – bothers me as well. If the young girl being transported is the suspected source of the Black Plague, would it really be wise to transport her across the country? Isn’t this kind of like sending Typhoid Mary to a community mixer or ice cream social?

1. Meet the Spartans (2008): There are few words to describe how terrible this film is. It is utterly disjointed, replete with parodies of parodies, riddled with poorly delivered – and written – lines, headlined(!) by Carmen Electra and Kevin Sorbo, drowning in lame pop-culture references to Paris Hilton, American Idol and Brittany Spears, desperately wanting to integrate jokes that don’t fit with scenes that make no sense. It lacks the charm of a Hot Shots (Part I and Deux), Blazing Saddles, and Men in Tights, devolving to the assumption that an audience will laugh at anything that pokes fun at Hollywood. What the film, its writers / directors and cast fail to realize is that exhibiting pop-culture phenomenon is not that same at satirizing, parodying, poking fun of, or mocking – it’s just regurgitating.

Like most years, this one is filled with critically acclaimed films that garner a wealth of Oscar buzz. Films like Lincoln, Les Miserables, Argo, Silver Linings Playbook, The Master, and Zero Dark Thirty are sure to earn nominations for screenplays, directors, and performers. However, there have also been a handful of smaller films that might produce nominations for actors and actresses that might otherwise be overlooked. Here, we take a look at a handful of actors and actresses gunning for first-time nominations that might otherwise seem surprising – but this year, shouldn’t.

Richard Gere – Arbitrage: The film is otherwise a bit confused and creates a villain from the assumption that all rich people are corrupt and need to be brought down from their perches. However, Gere’s performance otherwise carries the film. It seems that at sixty-three, Gere has gone beyond the “brooding heartthrob” roles that riddled his early career, and he seems comfortably set in the wizened sage role. His demeanor here is more subdued that we’re used to seeing, and his vulnerability is also a nice change. In a stacked Oscar race for best actor, Gere could be the dark horse to snag his first nomination.

Gina Gershon — Killer Joe:At first, you might be blinded by Gina Gershon’s pantsless introduction to the film as she pulls the trailer door open to her stepson’s pounding. Like something out of a seventies skin film, Gershon (and her tumbleweed merkin) lets it all hang out, but she is hardly in this film to be simple scenery. As Sharla, she carries a conniving air and portends to be much smarter than everyone around her. To her detriment, she is not. But the best scene in the film one that she and Joe (Matthew McConaughey) share over a bucket of chicken from The K Fried C.

Matthew McConaughey – Magic Mike: Alright, alright, alright. Here, men might scoff, but I would bet they didn’t actually watch Magic Mike, given the presumed premise, but it’s much more than a film about male strippers and Channing Tatum’s abs. Soderbergh does a great job looking at what we consider appropriate, masculine, and successful. If nothing else, Magic Mike proves that McConaughey can be pretty solid when he’s not the heartthrob to a Kate Hudson or Sarah Jessica Parker. Killer Joe also helps support this thesis.

Kristen Stewart – On the Road: Seriously. This movie is not the book, but it’s aware of this. It has its flaws, but it doesn’t try to emulate Kerouac. Rather, it tries to follow one narrator as opposed to the disjointed nature of the novel. It succeeds in telling a straight narrative, and Stewart shows that she is more than just a self-deprecating object of affection for a misogynist sparkly undead creature. This nomination could come in part because of a rather limited crop of female performances this year – which is unfortunate because last year was flooded with amazing female performances – but if it does come, she’ll deserve it. Think of this role as her Anne Hathaway breakout from tween-driven films: replete with nudity, but far from teenage angst.

Albert Brooks – This is Forty: The movie itself feels like a spin-off, or a conglomerate of disjointed comedy sketches thrown together with underlying pseudo-philosophy. However, Brooks is hilarious and even if he falls victim to this same sketch comedy, there’s an earnestness in his performance. He’s racist; he’s a mooch; he’s the uncle you love, don’t want to really see, but know you will when you get a raise, win money at the track, or have a good night in Las Vegas.

Ann Dowd – Compliance: This year’s Antichrist – at least in terms of audience reactions – Compliance illustrates the present-day existence of the Milgrem experiment – just in case misguided wars, torture at Guantanamo Bay and the humiliating antics of soldiers in Abu Gharib weren’t enough evidence. Regardless of whether you enjoyed the film (like I did) or you hated the film because you feel that you would never fall for such silly antics, Ann Dowd’s performance as Sandra is one that should be recognized. She is timid and strict; she is uncomfortable in her maturity in the face of juvenile workers; she is frustrated with her title-only authority.

As 2012 came to end, the opportunity arose to reflect on our year of viewing films. Some were good. Some were great. Some were awful. Some warranted a refund.

Here, we focus on the good to great: Those films that churned something within us — in a public theater. Those films that touched us — again, in public. Those films that we just couldn’t stop thinking about.

For full reviews, please click on the blue links.

Jared Wade’s Top Five Movies of 2012

5. Sleepwalk With Me 

I’m not sure 2012 was a good year for movies. I struggle to actually come up with a list of five that I can honestly say I’ll still be talking about three years from now. Sleepwalk With Me is definitely one that, if it gets brought up during a bar conversation I’m having in 2017, I’ll casually mention, “Oh yeah, I saw that. For sure check it out. Good stuff.” I don’t know that I would tell anyone “You have to see this,” and that goes for most of the other movies I saw this year.

My number five could have just as easily been a mainstream release like Ted (hilarious), Lincoln (Daniel Day Lewis is the world’s best actor), Silver Linings Playbook (Bradley Cooper’s best performance), The Grey (surprisingly deep … seriously), Skyfall (good Bond), 21 Jumpstreet (rather good against all odds), The Hunger Games (expected garbage; received a good flick), Five-Year Anniversary (funny enough), Expendables 2 (BOOM) or even The Dark Knight Rises (holy muddled, Batman, but a fitting end). Really, I would probably rather recommend one of the great documentaries I saw this year. (The Other Dream Team, How to Survive a Plague, Chimpanzee and The Queen of Versailles, in particular, are all worth your time.)

But I’ll go with Sleepwalk: an entertaining, semi-autobiographical movie from Mike Birbiglia. It is refreshingly original and shows what good work can come if you just give a small budget to a talented man with a voice and let him film something personal.

4. Zero Dark Thirty

This movies biggest strength is also it’s biggest weakness. The reason it is so powerful as you’re watching it is that it feels like an insider’s look at how the CIA worked during the decade after 9/11. You are taken through a very linear account of how one woman, against all odds and despite a lack of support from her superiors, found and killed Osama bin Laden. She is a very strong character, and the depictions of realistic violence and action are unlike anything I’ve ever seen in film. It is griping, and you feel as though you are watching an amazing tale.

Then you realize that’s what it is: a tale.

While senators and NGOs can debate the torture-related plot points and whatnot, that isn’t the real issue. To me. It’s just that it ultimately doesn’t pass the smell test of what could have plausibly happened. A few characters are just too convenient, and the lead role has to be an amalgam of other people — perhaps dozens of them. It may not be fabrication, but it feels so massaged, after you finish watching and really think about it, that a lot of the initial power of the movie wears off.

Stuff like that can work wonderfully when the movie’s tone is that of, say, Charlie Wilson’s War, and you ultimately know that the filmmakers are taking liberties in terms of truth to support a different, more interesting narrative. But when the best part of the film is its ability to keep you wanting to know what the next step in the time line was and when its attempt to depict an accurate account of history is dubious at best, it loses a lot.

That said, it was obviously still very good, and the experience of watching it stuck with me longer than almost any other film of 2012. Bad year for movies or not, Kathryn Bigelow made a captivating movie and created one of the best leading female characters I’ve seen on screen.

3. Argo

Ben Affleck didn’t dream up anything too deep here: it’s just an excellent story about what was previously a trivial foot note in history. And he expertly takes a quirky story and, most impressively, doesn’t muck it up. Instead, hedevelops rich, rounded characters who are easy to love and walks them through a tense time line of events that every American can’t help but hope works out well. It’s like Air Force One, but without all the cheesy action-movie tropes that turn that movie into a camp classic. In short, it’s just a simple, fantastic little film.

Disagree? Argo f*** yourself.

2. Looper

The best part of Looper is a diner chat between old Joe (John MCclane) and young Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). The whole discussion is excellent, but the filmmakers use one specific moment to break the fourth wall and slap every overly pedantic viewer in the face. “I don’t want to talk about time travel,” says Bruce Willis, “because if we start talking about it then we’re going to be here all day talking about it, making diagrams with straws.”

Exactly.

Time travel makes no empirical sense. If you actually think about the Terminator franchise, it eventually falls apart. Every time travel-related narrative does, simply because no filmmakers — and only a handful of viewers — have a Stephen Hawking-level understanding of string theory and the quantum universe that would have to exist for traveling in time to not just be dumb. Thus, as a viewer, you just have to accept that it works for the story but ultimately doesn’t in reality.

For Looper, that shouldn’t be a problem unless you just like hating things to hate them. Because it is ultimately less a movie about time travel and instead one that just uses that box-office-friendly contrivance to make an eloquent point about nature vs. nurture and how we — both as family units and a society — reap what we sew in terms of the decisions we make.

1) The Avengers

I have never read comic books, but I have been all in on the Iron Man universe since the first movie came out. I even enjoyed the second one quite a bit. So when they brought back Tony Stark to battle his biggest foe yet  — and teamed him up with the whole gang — there was a good chance I was going to dig it no matter what.

But the fact that the filmmakers hit a grand slam here for 80 percent of the running time, while finally creating a Hulk that could steal the show, made this about as much fun as you can have going to the movie theater. Yeah, there were a few plot elements that didn’t work, some scenes that were kinda stupid and a couple of the characters that were altogether pointless (shout out to Renner and Scarlett). But it’s easy to overlook those minor flaws when Hulk is that cool. The Avengers is the best comic book movie ever made, and the flick of the year for 2012.

Tim Adkins’ Favorite Five Movies of 2012

5) Wreck-It Ralph

I don’t have kids. Don’t plan to. But when I sat in the theater watching this film, I really wished my 6-year-old nephew was sitting next to me sharing a giant candy bar and shouting “Whoa!” or “Awesome!” at every scene that looked to him like the new coolest thing ever. As it were, this movie was a lot of fun and pretty well made.

4) Jiro Dreams of Sushi

In short, the best food porn of this year. Or any other. It also offered an interesting history of the global delicacy. While the story wasn’t as fully realized as I wanted it to be, Jiro did call to mind my grandfather. And I generally appreciate things that call to mind my grandfather.

3) Smashed / The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’d like to pick just one of these, but I’m not sure I can. I really enjoyed the acting in each, and I dug that each story had balls enough to avoid most Western movie cliches. If Smashed had cast anyone other than Aaron Paul as the male lead, I’d probably give the edge to Perks for its nearly perfect use of Pittsburgh’s Fort Pitt Tunnel as both a location and a story device.

2) The House I Live In

The most important film of the year. Easily. Advocacy films have become a terribly unfortunate trope. All they really achieve is bias confirmation. Despite the attachment of the George Soros Foundation as a source of funding, this film is very difficult to dismiss.

It presents a cogent argument for why the United States’ War on Drugs has failed — and why it was doomed from the start. (You cannot win a war against the dreaded “other” when most of the others are actually us.)

Paired with Michelle Alexander’s The New Jim Crow, The House I Live In gives us strong evidence for finally having a grown-up conversation about our relationship with drugs and our criminal justice system. Here’s hoping it also begins the end of the exceptionally ill-thought War on Drugs.

1) Beasts of the Southern Wild

No film released this year had more life in it. It reminded me of some of my favorite things about my favorite Giuseppe Tornatore films. Of course, it lacked the polish of Tornatore’s work. What it did have, however, was a raw beauty. And it was proud of itself for existing because it knew just how impossible it can be to exist.

Bill Coffin’s favorite Movies Watched in 2012

5) Tron Legacy

I don’t think this came out in 2012, but 2012 is when I saw it, and this movie rocked me. Yes, it’s not a great story. But as far as visual spectacles go, it was mind-blowing. Kind of like if Disney tried to do the Matrix … and I mean that as a compliment.

But what really put this one over the top for me was the Daft Punk soundtrack, which transformed this from a sequel/reboot of the 1982 classic to a CGI rock opera that managed to capture the feeling of that early 1980s fascination with a digital world we were just beginning to understand — and imagine.

4) Prometheus

Yes, this was one of the most feckless first-contact teams ever, but overall, I loved this movie, both on its own merits and for the way in which it fit into the larger Alien/Blade Runner canon. Really nice bit of continuity engineering, that. Plus, this movie gets credit for teaching every red-blooded American the four magic words that are guaranteed to get Charlize Theron to hop in the sack with you: “Are you a robot?”

3) Bernie

This is another 2011 release, but Jack Black blew me away in this true crime story about a peculiar crime involving a peculiar man in a peculiar East Texas town. The way in which writer Skip Hollandsworth moved in and out of the fact and fiction of this fascinated me, as did Black’s immersion into his role. And Matthew McConaughey wrapping himself up in a Texas accent and slick demeanor worthy of a slow clap.

2) The Cabin in the Woods

Holy chainsaw, did I love this movie. It was just a hugely entertaining and hugely clever meta-statement about the horror genre that in its way managed to explain every other horror movie ever made. With terrific sly winks at the audience while retaining a sense of control, this is that most rare movie that was playing with the rules and you loved it for it. Plus, it is the first horror movie I’ve seen in a while that appears to not be interested in a sequel.

1) The Avengers

This is the comic book movie I’ve been waiting for my entire life. It’s not just a fantastic superhero story, it’s really the perfect Marvel superhero story. You can’t overlook how fundamentally different Marvel superheroes are from, say, DC or other sources. There is a particular quality and tone to them that Marvel-philes love, and Joss Whedon and Co. just nailed it.

Steve Barker’s 2012 Movies of Note

Marley

Having already seen the 1991 documentary Marley Story a number of times I was skeptical that I wouldn’t gain any new insight on Bob Marley from the 2012 release Marley. But where Story stuck to the positive parts of Marley’s life — he was a peacemaker, a songwriter and a family man — Marley tells the whole story from the people who knew him best. The documentary doesn’t shy away from the fact that he was a womanizer and could sometimes be a control freak.

The film runs just under two and a half hours, and I found myself wanting more when the final credits rolled. It’s my vote for best documentary of the year.

For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada

This is by no means one of the top movies of the year. It’s underdeveloped, and I’m not convinced it’s historically accurate since the Knights of Columbus financed it. It seems slightly skewed in favor of the National League for the Defense of Religious Liberty, a group of Mexican civilians who fought their government for religious freedom during the Cristero War. There is a scene where they burn 50 innocent people alive and play it up as an unfortunate accident.

I only mention the film because of the phenomenal performance by Mauricio Kuri. Kuri plays Jose, a young boy who joins up with the League. Kuri was extremely convincing as Jose and was able to hold his own on screen with Andy Garcia. The film is worth watching just to see this emerging star.

Sara Palin: You Betcha!

I love Nick Broomfield’s filmmaking style. He isn’t concerned with preparation or organization; he just grabs his camera and starts shooting, which is evident in You Betcha!, maybe even more so than some of his other films.

With this documentary, he shows what everybody has been assuming for years: Sara Palin is a huge c***, er, “vile person.” He interviews people she’s stepped on to advance her career as well as high school friends and former coworkers, who share stories of how uninformed on politics and governmental procedure she really is.

The movie is interesting as well as infuriating, as it shows that someone as terrible as Palin made it so close to the White House.

Savages

This was the movie I was most excited about for 2012. And boy was I disappointed. The positives are that it’s shot really well and Benicio Del Toro can still put on a great performance even when he’s in the middle of a movie that seems so concerned with style it forgets about plot and character development.

The story is cliché, and none of the characters are likable enough for the audience to care if they live or die. I don’t understand why a movie that is trying so hard to be hip would cast John Travolta. He was cool in Pulp Fiction and that’s it. The only scripts he should be getting are for Old Dogs 3 or something where he’s the voice of an animated pup with a Brooklyn accent.

Ted

This was another movie that seemed promising, but overall left me disappointed. It seems as though Seth Macfarlane tried to stick as many jokes as he could in the movie that he was never able to get away with on network TV. I love a good politically incorrect joke; the problem was they just weren’t that funny.

The only part of the movie I felt was well done was the scene where Marky Mark and Ted do coke. It was one of the most realistic depictions of people on coke I’ve seen in a movie. People on coke are annoying, blathering idiots and the filmmakers nailed it in this movie.

Overall, it’s good for a few cheap laughs, but I don’t see it having the re-watchability like some other raunchy comedies.

Dustin Freeley’s Top Movies of 2012

5) Django Unchained

While not as tight as Inglourious Basterds in the script department, Django Unchained continues Tarantino’s revisionist history portion of his canon. Set in the antebellum South, Django investigates our obsession with violence and how it becomes acceptable when legally sanctioned. Much like Hitler in Basterds, some folks get their proper comeuppance, and its exploitatively glorious.

4) The Master

First and foremost, The Master is beautifully shot, and Phoenix – if he would just get out of his own way – is superb as the twisted, drunk Richard III-like Freddie Quell. But, Anderson’s ambitions here might be too lofty for what he presents to his audience.

Much like the churning waves that begin the film, there are a number of tangential themes weaving in and out of this film, churning in another’s wake. This tactic can be at once phenomenal and weak.

The Master makes us think – a lot – but it also feels, at times, underdeveloped and shortchanging. Regardless, it’s Paul Thomas Anderson, and it’s certainly worth a look.

3) Zero Dark Thirty

Kathryn Bigelow relays the hunt for Osama bin Laden into a docudrama-style chronicle rather than an action-packed thrill ride. As the demagogues will note: there is torture in this film, but its overall discussion would best be described as “gray.” Torture exists; it existed during the search for bin Laden. This is not a secret. Whitewashing it away is indicative of a systematic problem that goes deeper than employing torture. Bigelow doesn’t shy away from it, but she doesn’t glamorize it or castigate it. If nothing else, Zero Dark Thirty is technically brilliant, specifically the last thirty minutes.

2) Amour

Michael Haneke is no stranger to creating tension and leaving his audience devastated. Amour is no different. It’s not Funny Games or Night of the Wolf. It doesn’t have their joyous sadism. But it proves that Haneke belongs in the pantheon of great directors.

1) Moonrise Kingdom

As someone who’s not really a Wes Anderson fan (I still don’t get the appeal of The Royal Tannenbaums), I am a bit surprised that Moonrise Kingdom is number one on my list.

But it’s fantastic. The backgrounds are beautiful, the script is pithy and genuine, and the acting is superb. It at once weaves a capricious tale of young love and a deep dive into the theme of personal value and worth found in prescribed titles and position.

It is a satire like no other this year, and, overall, a fun film.

Every time you sit down for a movie, whether it’s in the theater or your home, you have a preconception about what’s going to run on that screen for the next two hours. The previews certainly influence this. So do the cast and their filmography. Perhaps the writer has a trope that just won’t die. Or, a remake screams evidence of creative bankruptcy. The following five are films that were surprisingly solid. It doesn’t mean I thought they would be terrible. (Most often, if we think they’re going to be terrible, they will be.) Rather, these five are films that I went into with little or no expectations and left feeling like I got my money’s worth, saw a solid film, and would recommend it to others. Here ya go:

5. Ted: It’s not that I figured this movie would be bad, but I wasn’t sure if it would be vintage McFarlane, replete with random tangents that are more interested with eliciting brief laughter than contributing to any sort of cohesive narrative. To be fair, at times, Ted employs this strategy, but not nearly as much as I thought it would. Despite these moments, this 2012 movie about a foul-mouthed teddy bear is heartwarming, often hilarious, and quite intelligent.

4. 21 Jump Street: They remade a television show from the 80’s, so why wouldn’t I fear the worst. However, this adaptation is rather solid and surprisingly funny. The premise is similar: undercover officers are on assignment in a local high school to vet out drug dealers, but the tone is different. This 2012 rendition is a comedy, but not slapstick. It’s also satirical and culturally aware. It employs popular themes like the impacts of bullying, but it also looks at absentee, overachieving parents and their progeny. The villains in this movie are privileged and leading a life of loneliness, but not for the typical reasons found in 80’s cinema or television shows. There are no drunken fathers on benders or mothers hitting the pipe. 21 Jump Street profoundly hits the mark, one that includes a nod to the stars of the original series.

3. A Good Old Fashioned Orgy: The preview for this film prophesies its destiny as a box office failure, as does the word “orgy.” While it’s served to draw a number of hits to this site – most likely with horribly dejected teenage males sighing on the other end – it’s also a harbinger of doom in our overly squeamish culture. In other words, any movie blatantly centering on sex – much less group sex – is bound to be ignored simply on the grounds that telling someone you’re going to “A Good Old Fashion Orgy” could lead to a rather uncomfortable discussion. That aside, this movie is quite funny and sedate despite the title. Yes, the orgy happens, but it’s gently filmed and shown in spurts – or pieces rather. The characters are fairly round, though predominately stereotypical, and, like 21 Jump Street, the film looks at the lives of over privileged progeny – but not in a flattering way. If nothing else, this film points out the pathetic parts of our existences as well as the highlights.

2. Magic Mike: Again, I didn’t think this film would suck – it is helmed by Steven Soderbergh, so how bad can it be so long as it doesn’t star Sasha Gray – but I wasn’t sure what to expect. I avoided going at night as not to be surrounded by hundreds of women drooling and hooting over enviable abs. However, I made the mistake of going to a matinee showing in Times Square. There were a few people in trench coats that sat really close to the screen. I sat away from them. Far away. Regardless, before the film, I also wasn’t sold on Channing Tatum. He was funny in 21 Jump Street – which I saw after Magic Mike – but his turn in Soderbergh’s Haywire was pretty bad, though I enjoyed the movie. So the prospect of watching Tatum (with no vested interest in his abs) for two hours was daunting. However, the film – led by Matthew McConaughey’s performance – is much deeper than skin. It offers a nice parallel between what we find socially and sexually acceptable. It also looks at the culturally sublimated female interest in male sexuality. Overall, quite solid and certainly surprising.

1. The Grey: The preview suggests Liam Neeson and his badass self fighting wolves with makeshift-Wolverine claws taped to his hands. This is not what happens, nor is it what the movie is about. It’s subdued; it’s mostly silent save the howling wolves and breaking leaves; it’s desolate; it’s eerie. This is not Liam Neeson kicking ass. It’s not survivalist hokum. The Grey is about survival. The Grey is about determination. The Grey is about futility.

The Grinch – How the Grinch Stole Christmas: I stress that this is cartoon version, with Boris Karloff voicing the Grinch, not Jim Carrey and Ron Howard’s wacky, floppy-fingered, over-gesticulating curmudgeonly hermit. To be honest, Carrey, with his frenetic movements is not a solid pick to play the holiday hater. Originally, the Grinch is a few centuries old and his movements are meant to be sloth-like. In addition, like The Cat in the Hat, this movie wasn’t sure if it was geared at children or the adults whose childhoods were enlivened by the annual cartoon. On the other hand, the cartoon, like the Dr. Suess book, is brief, clever, and pithy. The cartoon’s charm comes from the eeriness of Boris Karloff as the narrator and the Grinch. Each slink, slunk, and smile in tandem with Karloff’s rhyme-reciting baritone. The film is none of those. It’s long, drawn out and filled with spectacle. Rhymes are injected but they’re disjointed and disrupt the flow of the Grinch’s arc. Yes, the Grinch has an arc. He’s a miserable insomniac whose anxiety goes into overdrive around November of each year. As his anxiety grows, so does his paranoia and his fearful expectations of the Whos down in Whoville. This paranoia leads to psychopathic nefariousness. And as his plan goes into action, he shows a flash of consciousness upon meeting Little Cindy Lou Who who was no more than two. But this flash is brief until he hears that Whos singing without the impetus of presents and baubles. He realizes that the world is not as cynical and consumer-driven as he believes it to be. His heart growths three sizes that day and gets to carve the roast beef. What better way to celebrate the holidays?

Harry / Marv – Home Alone: It’s funny. As a kid, I saw this film about half-a-dozen times in the theaters. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. As an adult, I hadn’t watched the film in years until about two weeks ago. At that point I realized that Kevin kind of deserved to be left home alone. In fact, he’s kind of an ungrateful ass living a rather privileged life. Seriously, the farthest I’ve ever traveled over Christmas is across the country – not across the ocean. However, since he realizes his mistake, I’ll pick the two thieves who inspire Kevin to embrace responsibility and maintain his house. Harry and Marv are clever, funny, and fit the archetypical mold of any duo of criminals: one is tall, thin, and slow-witted; the other is smarter, but shorter and stockier. In part, these characters are rounded out by the multitalented Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. Their physical comedy is spot on as is their banter. And a John Hughes script doesn’t hurt.

Peter and Kate – Home Alone 2: It certainly isn’t the best sequel ever made, but it does serve up another set of villains. This time though, it’s not Harry and Marv, who make a rather improbable appearance. But hell, what’s not improbable about this movie? Kevin gets left alone…again, and in nearly the same manner. He acts out – as he’s prone to do, which proves that privilege still breeds derelict children – and he’s sent up to the third floor basement…again. Due to incompetence – which evidently privilege can’t repair – the alarm clocks are mis-set and the family oversleeps…again. This time, they remember to wake Kevin. But, in the rush through the airport, Kevin follows another man who wears a jacket similar to his father’s onto a separate airplane, one that is heading to New York. Now, a sequel that repeats virtually the same progression as its predecessor is not unheard of. But, here, it seems that the second film really emphasizes the parent’s indifference when it comes to their child – or, at least their youngest one. Perhaps he was a mistake. He was the one that slipped past the diaphragm. The night that the wife took an anti-biotic cocktail with her birth control. The drunken holiday party that led to unexpected penetration. Regardless, he exists, but they hardly seem to notice until it’s too late – and Peter realizes his wallet is missing. Besides, if the father can’t set an alarm clock, he probably shouldn’t breed. But he does, so we get a sequel, and we see how unaware of their children they are. Of course, there’s a reunion and reconciliation at the end, but didn’t this happen exactly one year prior? It’s difficult to punish your kids for repeatedly acting out when you perpetually strand him alone on the holidays.

Hans Gruber – Die Hard: Yeah, we could have a debate about whether this is a Christmas movie, but, in my book, it’s the second-best Non-Christmas Christmas movie. It knocks consumerism, it reference Santa a few times, it takes place on Christmas Eve, and well, John McClane’s kicks ass. Regardless, Gruber (Alan Rickman) is the modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge. His band of ragtag assassins are really just body armor for his heist. If they perish, they perish. Gruber still walks away with a fortune. And, like A Christmas Carol, Die Hard positions the uberwealthy and greedy against the working middle class. McClane’s wife might bank a decent paycheck, but he’s a cop; therefore, he’s not banking anything, no matter how many terrorists he brings in.

Mr. Potter – It’s a Wonderful Life: While this might be my favorite film to watch on Christmas, I’m not always convinced that it’s a Christmas film. Christmas is an occurrence toward the end, but It’s a Wonderful Life is really about a man and his impeded aspirations. George Bailey is always giving up his dreams and desires for other people. He only wants to leave his sleepy little town and see the world, but his goals are interrupted over and over again until frustration begins to seethe from his pores and he wonders why he’s so afflicted with poor timing. And then there’s Mr. Potter, the man at the ready to pounce on Bailey’s bad fortune. He steals from Bailey, by default stealing from the rest of the town. He comes close to bankrupting everyone who’d ever invested with Baily Building and Loan. He pushes them toward foreclosure. He is the epitome of a predatory lender, waiting to swoop in and leave the community with no choice but to move into this houses that more closely resemble ghettos with fresh paint. Mr. Potter is the ultimate Christmas bad guy, but he’s also the heel. The community proves they are stronger than one man. We could learn a lot from It’s a Wonderful Life.

5. Armageddon: This flick is always hit and miss. It’s uberstylized, which can be fun, but it’s also a mishmash of saccharine moments, inorganic romances, and perfunctory regret. Plus, Ben Affleck was just about unbearable at this point, which probably also fueled the critical kamakazis against Pearl Harbor, but I digress. What disrupts this film the most is the ridiculous premise that a bunch of blue-collar deep-core drillers could actually be shot into space, land on a hurtling asteroid and stay on it long enough to destroy it. The paucity of experience they have in anything outside of their occupation would probably be an issue, as would a little thing called gravity. The speed of the asteroid would shake each of these workers off like fleas from a dog. And finally, the most powerful H-Bomb ever created would be needed to send this asteroid off course. Something they probably wouldn’t trust to a guy more familiar with the ocean that space.

4. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008): Remade from the 1951 film of the same name, this Keanu Reeves vehicle is heavy on special effects and an incoherent script. While the original film was set in the time of the Cold War, focusing on potential nuclear annihilation, the newer film’s premise is that we must recognize our impact on the environment. This is certainly relevant given the ping-pong discourse that is global warming, but Reeves’ brooding Klaatu (an alien in human form who wishes to address the UN) is more cold than convincing and ultimately boring.

3. 2012: Dear Roland Emmerich, you can’t outrun an earthquake in a car – unless you’re John Cusack. I give this 2011 movie credit for bringing to light the Mayan prediction before anyone else, but that’s where the praise stops. I understand Emmerich’s ideas here in trying to recreate a Genesis tale, replete with flooding, arks, and civilization restarting around Africa, but the screenplay is so unnecessarily weighty and the film so long that it should be charged with changing the Earth’s elements solely based on its carbon footprint. And, you can’t outrun at earthquake in a car!

2. End of Days: Schwarzenegger meets the devil sounds like an action-packed premise, but End of Days can’t decide whether it’s ripping off The Omen, Rosemary’s Baby, or The Exorcist. With his creepy eyebrows, high cheekbones, and Irish accent, Gabriel Byrne is a perfect choice for the devil incarnate, and Robin Tunney isn’t bad, but does he really need to be priest – Father Thomas Aquinas no less? And does Arnold need to be Jericho? How about York’s (Robin Tunney) doctor, Abel? Riddling a film with Biblical names does not make it deep, profound, or good. It makes it transparent and obvious. And, if God was just going to capture the Devil and lock him in Hell for all eternity, why didn’t he do it in the beginning of the film? Why does he wait for Jericho (Sheesh again!) to impale himself on a sword?

1. The Day After Tomorrow: I was able to look past the tidal wave that came from New Jersey. I bought into the notion that a battleship could make its way around the island of Manhattan and navigate itself through the convoluted downtown streets and up Fifth Avenue to the Research Library. I even suspended my disbelief long enough to concede that perhaps no scientist in the entire freakin’ world saw this massive climate change coming until it was 48 hours away. What I can’t buy into are the wolves. Wolves that happen to be on a battleship that arrives at the library. Wolves that can open doors. Wolves that are impervious to the bitter cold that marathons after all humans, leaving frosty interiors in its wake. But the wolves? Their fur is like an adamantium North Face jacket. But ultimately, they are no match for the cross-armed, brooding Jake Gyllenhaal, who, throughout, seems to recognize the superb inanity of this film.

Lists about the best Christmas movies are everywhere this time of year, and, most likely you’ll get a variation of It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. These are great movies, and I try to watch each of them, including a few others, every year around Christmas, reminding myself to ring bells, not to lick frozen metal polls, and that the shitter might be full. Below is a list of what might be considered “Non-Christmas, Christmas Movies.” The criteria here is a bit broad. These films take place near Christmas, but aren’t necessarily Christmas movies. Admittedly, the inclusion of Christmas more than likely includes some irony about the holiday. But, these films were not marketed as Christmas films, and I would bet no one went into them saying “Hmm…looks like a nice, uplifting, holiday movie.”

Edward Scissorhands: For most of Burton’s film, we are unaware of the time of year. We see conformity in houses, cars, routines, and color palates. We know time passes because Edward is brought down from his dilapidated castle by the benevolent, lonely Avon lady, Peg (Dianne Wiest), becomes a popular novelty in the neighborhood, and he becomes yesterday’s news. He is no longer invited to play rock, paper, scissors because Kevin is “tired of winning all the time,” and soon his uniqueness is relegated to a dangerous deformity, categorizing him as an outlier and a freak. Perhaps we forget, but the third act of this film begins as Bill, the family’s patriarch, staples fake sheets of snow to his roof and Kimberly and Peg trim the family Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, awaiting guests that aren’t coming. At this time, Edward becomes the target of anger, from Jim (Anthony Michael Hall) and the rest of the neighborhood. The cops chase him; the town chases him; and he flees to his isolating castle. And, as the film winds down, we realize that Edward gifts the town with their very first snow – though they fail to question its source. He works tirelessly and endlessly in his immortal existence, without a thank you or recognition. Merry Christmas suburbia.

Gremlins: Cute furry creatures that become scaly, green carnivores that reproduce at the touch of water is the perfect analogy for all of those unnecessary toys that you buy your children only to be driven crazy by the flickering lights, the high-pitched scrannel, and the dozens of batteries that aren’t included. At the same time, Gremlins also reminds us of differences. The differences that cause prejudice – perfectly presented by the racist war veteran Mr. Futterman – and the differences that completely divide us, exacerbating our vulnerabilities. In other words, the violent gremlins are a threat to humanity, but only able to multiply and ravage because we’ve been divided by other influences. Mrs. Deagle represents the disparity between affluence and middle class. Mr. Futterman exemplifies the racist isolationist; Randall Peltzer, Billy’s father, is dishonest and commodity driven – both in career and family: he’s a salesman looking for progress, an inventory striving to be unique, and a father whose subversive purchase of the magwae is both a way to stand out to his son but a dishonest move that brings havoc to Kingston Falls. Gremlins reminds us to embrace what we have, particularly a juicer in case of gremlin attack.

Lethal Weapon: For me, the first few bars of “Jingle Bell Rock” now portends a coke-fueled, half-naked woman swan-diving from a penthouse balcony. A similar ominous prophesy is conjured when I see any clip from “A Bugs Bunny Christmas.” All that comes to mind is Martin Riggs – Mel Gibson well before he took the celebration of Jesus to a whole new level – sitting on his couch in tears, staring down the barrel of a gun and mustering the strength to pull the trigger and end the misery brought on by his wife’s murder. In Lethal Weapon, Christmas comes to represent Martin’s rebirth as he teams with Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) and his family, but it also represents a time to kick some sadistic bastards onto the naughty list.

Die Hard: There’s at least one Santa reference in the first three Die Hard films, but the first is still the best. John McClane, on a mission to visit his wife on Christmas ends up taking on an amalgam of foreign mercenaries and criminals. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) is the sadist holding everyone hostage, and the cat to McClane’s mouse. Classic lines, classic scenes, and justification that Bruce Willis only ever needs to play himself makes this a solid fall-back film after the classic Christmas-movie canon. (Die Hard 2 would also qualify as a Christmas movie inasmuch as it takes place on Christmas Eve, but it’s much campier than the first one and all around an exercise in explosions. While awesome, not top 5.) For a more in depth analysis of this film and its politics, you can click here.

Eyes Wide Shut: (Admittedly, Die Hard used to be my number one Non-Christmas Christmas movie, but then I recently watched Eyes Wide Shut and remembered that it took place on Christmas.) You might be scoffing and noting how viscous this movie can be. You might also be writing it off because it’s difficult to imagine Tom Cruise in anything other than a Top Gun cum Mission Impossible mediocre action film. But, this is still Stanley Kubrick, and being such, it is replete with allusions to the influence of illuminati, presence of Nazi fascism in America, and cultural hypocrisy. Books can be – and have been – written on symbols in Kubrick from Clockwork Orange to the Shining. The pace of Eyes Wide Shut certainly doesn’t elide this. The movie begins at a Christmas Eve party, wherein Alice Harford (Nicole Kidman), stoned on a bit of pot, confesses to her husband Bill (Tom Cruise) that she has fantasized about another man. Denying that he has fantasized about anyone, he leaves his wife and wanders the streets of Manhattan, determined to have an affair. The premise here is simple, but the tension and discomfort elicited by the couple (married in real life during the shooting) is palpable and eerily realistic. In the span of twenty-four hours, Bill’s life is twisted, tried, and turned upside down while his wife is genuinely unaware of anything that’s going on. At once, Kubrick uses the Christmas holiday to tackle communication breakdowns and the abjectly detrimental way in which American squeamishness transforms human sexuality into something pejoratively taboo is profound and poignant.

Over at Pajiba, Cindy Davis has compiled a list of twenty interesting factoids about Inception.

Here’s a sample.

8. Nolan based roles of the Inception team on those of filmmaking; Cobb is the director, Arthur is the producer, Aridane is the production designer, Eames is the actor, Saito is the studio, and Fischer is the audience. The director said, “In trying to write a team-based creative process, I wrote the one I know.”

9. Nolan wrote the part of Saito for Ken Watanabe after working with him on Batman Begins.

10. After Evan Rachel Wood turned down the part of Ariadne (Ellen Page), Carey Mulligan, Rachel McAdams, Emily Blunt, Emma Roberts and Taylor Swift were all rumored to have been considered. James Franco was first offered the role of Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Brad Pitt and Will Smith were reportedly offered the Cobb role before DiCaprio and Kate Winslet declined to portray Mal (Marion Cotillard).

11. Nolan always loved the work of artist, M C. Escher; loved his prints and said Escher does a wonderful job of expressing paradox and infinity. Nolan wanted to try the concept of the Penrose Steps—the infinite staircase—wondering how it could be built it in the real world. The director originally asked (Production Designer) Dyas if a Penrose Step could be built; Dyas said “Of course you can—but actually, it’s almost impossible.”

The set was fitted into a location (disused games company facility), a modern building constructed of steel and glass. The staircase was designed using the same wood that was in the facility, so as to fit right into the environment. Visual Effects Supervisor Paul Franklin explained, “You have to construct the staircase in such a way that when you view them from one angle, the topmost level winds up at the bottommost level.” Computer models were made and they worked out the exact dimensions of the steps that had to be built, as well as where the camera had to be in three dimensional space, to be able to film the stairs. Director of Photography, Wally Pfister noted, “It had to be done mathematically perfect; it had to be a particular length and particular height and distance and the camera had to drop in a particular way to hide the trickery.” Editor, Lee Smith explained the visual effects requirement was to remove the rig that supported the staircase (because the structure would have been dangerous had it not had a rig on it). “The staircase is visually quite dramatic and very carefully thought out.”